According to the Nepalese Hindu lunar calendar, today is Kushe aushi, or Father's Day. The festival celebrates fatherhood and paternal bonds. This day is also known as Pitri Aunsi. Ptiri means spirits of the departed ancestors in Hindu culture. On this day, the souls of the departed ancestors are also worshipped. One of the most beautiful souls I always remember is my grandfather. I am lucky enough to have a lot of memories with my grandfather. He is the one who taught me how to cook and introduced me to our scriptures like Bhagwat Gita, Mahabharat, and Ramayan. My fondest memories of him are that we (my siblings) followed him around when he used to go to a tea shop, and he would buy us Jeri and Shwari for breakfast in Mangalbazaar (Nepal). I visited those places last time I visited Nepal to relive the memories.

    Along with the fond memories, I also remember his struggle. I recollect that he used to tell me that this is his age to have sannyasi jiwan, which translates to renunciate everything and leaning toward spirituality and God. However, he told me he could not do it because worldly things, aka family responsibilities, prevent him from doing this. He must have been around 70 when he told me these things. At that time, I could not comprehend what he was telling me. Those were just words to me. So I used to question him, and he would elaborate that According to Hindu philosophy, there are four ashramas or stages in life: Brahmacharya (student), Gṛhastha (householder), Vanaprastha (forest walker/forest dweller), and Sannyasa (renunciate). He had spent most of his adult life in India and was keenly interested in Hindu scripture and religion.

    Fast forward to today, I am in the verse of my life where I am starting to realize and see the little glimpse and beginning to learn the meaning of those conversations. I grew up with the mindset of individual goals and success in life. Study, work hard, progress, and succeed; you are set for life. Of course, I am not set for life yet, but I am out of the phase in life where I would worry about food, clothing, and shelter. So, the next stage in life to feel accomplished according to social norms is to climb the corporate ladder and earn at least six salary figures. After this, there are many layers we can achieve to add to our success in our lives, such as accumulating a large amount of wealth, gaining power, influencing politics, etc. Do I have an aspiration to accomplish all these layers? I would be lying to myself if I said no. However, these things are not something I am actively pursuing. In addition, I am not actively seeking validation from other people and proving points like I was in my 20s and early 30s. And it is such a relief to live a life like this. 

  All of the above-listed things are excellent things to achieve in life. The ability to fulfill basic needs of life will help an individual tap into talents and full potential in human life. However, it has been almost two years since I realized that accomplishing things does not add more value to my life. Yes, I can fly a first-class seat instead of the economy while I travel, and yes, I would not need to work an 8-5 job if I become more successful. In recent years, I have realized that human connection adds real value to your life. It has always been this way. I did not want to acknowledge that aspect of life. In retrospect, the happiest and most accomplished feeling in my life was not when I got a bonus or a salary raise, nor when I got excellent grades in school. It has always been serving others unconditionally and exceeding your responsibilities. The concept of humbleness and humility is all made possible by all human connections and talking and meeting people from different walks of life. My goal nowadays is to become less reactive and less judgmental every passing day as I grow older, and it is an uphill battle to do so. This is where I have been so far, as my life is equal to Gṛhastha (householder). I believe I will never progress to Vanaprastha (forest walker/forest dweller) and Sannyasa (renunciate) stages in life, and I am OK with that because very randomly, Grandpa still comes into my dream and says, " Shyamu you are doing well in life, and everything will be OK."