No Time To Stand And Stare?

    Can you remember the time when you thought time stood still? It has been almost two decades since I felt time stood still. Kids in Kathmandu Valley used to get 50 days of winter vacation, known as "Minpachas bida." Our mother used to send us to the village where my grandparents lived. So imagine we had to come up with things to keep us busy with no TV, phone, or any other means of modern means of communication and entertainment and no running water in the house and electricity. Our pastime would be to go to forests and fields and go out and play. I used to help Gradma do house chores, fetch water, feed cattle, and wash dishes. In the evening, I read "Swasthani Katha,"  a religious book that people gathered, read, and listened to for an entire month. That book is still ingrained in my brain because I must have read it at least  20 times, cover to cover. We all kids used to gather around the fire and also listen to stories my grandparents, uncle, and aunts told us. Still, life seemed languid pace.

    Fast forward to today, life is going too fast for me. A famous line by W. H. Davies, "We have no time to stand and stare," describes our life nowadays. Life goes from Monday to Friday, and Weekends to catch up with life. I could not believe how fast the last 15 years have gone. Sometimes, social media feed reminds you of a memory and says that this (with a picture) happened ten years ago; in my mind, it's already ten years. Even when we go on vacation, life moves too fast because our itinerary is jam-packed with stuff to do on those days. So sometimes I ponder what is the purpose of this craziness in life. Are we even doing these things on purpose, or is it the way it is or the norm nowadays? Last week, I took my father to an appointment, and I was planning to work after the doctor's visit, but the appointment had to be rescheduled for a later time on the same day. I felt terrible about not going to work and was unhappy about the whole situation for about an hour. After an hour, I told myself this is ridiculous. He is my father. He should always come before my job.

     I kept thinking about where that emotion of feeling terrible and unhappy came from for a few days. I can afford a day to take off.  Today, I was listening to an interview by David Brooks (political and cultural commentator), who talks about the term "meritocracy," which is loosely defined as the culture in which we value ourselves and others according to metrics, such as in terms of the money we make, the education we got, the social status we belong, etc.  So, these are the things we are taught to strive to get at any cost to feel so-called superior to others in society. Unfortunately, the meritocracy does not include value relationships, human connections, and bonding. 

     Growing up, we heard all these stories of great emperors around the world, like Genghis Khan, Napolean, and Alexander the Great, and they conquered the world and owned everything around the world. This world has not changed that much from that time. We still do the same thing nowadays; we work for an entity or organization instead of emperors. Income inequality is evident in every part of the world. And power and politics hover around where all wealth is. I am reading the book, "Trust," where the character in the book describes money as the most prominent commodity because it can buy all the other commodities in the world.

    Contemplating all these scenarios makes me think I am doing everything  I was taught to do: study, go to school, work hard, and your life will be good. Life is not bad, but the values we grew up with don't seem right anymore. Like me, you must have seen the paradigm shift if you have been in the workforce for over a decade. People in their early 20s view work and has very different value to work compared to mine.  There is less trust in the institutions and government as well. I am not saying the younger generation is wrong. I have some of my coworkers who retired in recent years, doing the most demanding and challenging job as a nurse for the past 30 years, and they are still struggling with financial or health insurance issues (irony) after retirement. 

    Sometimes, I feel like everything is falling apart, and the world is doomed. However, some moments lift your soul and spirit. This weekend, I attended an event hosted by the Sherpa community, one of Nepal's bravest and most renowned communities. It was not the fanciest party, but we spent over 6 hours. I talked to people and spent time with them; it was fun. I learned about Sherpa culture, and they performed a communal dance, which was beautiful. The person who invited us there said they usually perform this dance at their other social gathering and when they summit mountains and return home safely.  Even I danced ( I have two left feet ) later in the evening, and I did not care about my steps or grace. I just danced however I knew, which was a lot of fun. So, having fun and feeling accomplished is not about perfection and keeping scores. It is all about how we think about human beings and the connections we feel. The only thing we need to do is put some time and effort into getting to know people at a deeper level.

   So, I guess the hustle and bustle of life is relevant and worth doing. All that matters is you can sleep at night. When you look into the mirror, be able to tell yourself that you have done the right things. And remember to take some time to stand and stare!