Are we taking ourselves too seriously?


    I just googled today, and the average human life span is around 73 in 2023. However, most of us live as if we have infinite years. I used to be one of them. I had planned from A to Z (get a good education, earn money, get married, have kids, etc.) and the steps I would follow to accomplish those plans. These notions come from the deep-seated idea that I might be considered unsuccessful or living a lackluster life if I did not do all these things. You try to accomplish everything listed above. But life has its course and sometimes throws curve balls at you. You can call it ways of life or fate or believe in a higher power than us. After living on this planet for almost four decades, I have learned that getting everything you want or plan in life is impossible. 

A line by famous poet Harivansh Rai Bachchan states in Hindi, "Man ka ho to achcha. Man ka na ho to zyada acchha !" 

The above line translates into if things happen according to what you wish, It is good. Suppose things do not happen according to what you wish. Then it is even better.

    Of course, you hear these things and listen constantly, but you can only fathom what this means if you live this. But it is tough to accept that we cannot win over our fate or course of life. So we fight and try every possible means to win. Sometimes we take an easy route and blame others or say we have insufficiencies and cannot accomplish what we want.

    It took me almost five years of my adult life and the most challenging journey to learn that life is not all about planning and accomplishment. Life is much more than checking all the boxes. It took me not being able to have kids to learn this lesson in my life. I fought hard with all the resources modern science and technology could give me. Because reproduction is embedded in our genes, it is the most basic instinct as a human, and this is how we, as a race, have survived so far. Giving up on that was the most challenging thing I had done. It was the lowest point in my life so far, and it took me years to see things, think outside of the box, accept the fact in life, and move forward with grace and without bitterness toward anyone. And most importantly, to love and accept myself as I am. Let me tell you, when you hit rock bottom, the only way is you go up. As you go up, you see life differently and lights everywhere. You can see life from 1 dimension to multi-dimensions. Then you can live an honest life and do things you like for the first time. In addition, it also raises the bar for disappointment in life. After conquering some difficulties, you learn to take life as it comes and be less adamant. In other words, you tend to enjoy your life much more. In my quest for life, traveling, hiking, reading books, and cooking make me feel alive. Who knew I could write too?

    So nowadays, when people ask me how is life? I say life is dandy (thanks to my coworker from the Midwest who teaches me typical American words/expressions)! And I am not taking myself too seriously. 







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